Momsí Duties on the Home Front
by: Angie Peters
For about two years, I wrote a column entitled ìHome Frontî for Midnight Call magazine. The column was designed to address issues about mothering and home life. I had selected the title ìHome Frontî because I liked how the term called to mind the humorous image of a battle-weary mom trudging through minefields planted with the day-in and day-out challenges of motherhood. But when I christened my column with that name in the fall of 2001, I had no idea that within weeks, the phrase ìhome frontî would take on a whole newóand much graver--significance.
The troubles redefining our lives on a daily basis after the September 11 terror attacks, the subsequent War on Terrorism and the more recent War for Iraqi Freedom plucked the language of war from the realm of being a convenient and descriptive literary tool in my writing arsenal to the reality of being a part of everyday conversation. My kids began bringing notes home from school outlining plans of action in case of terrorism. I was told I needed to pull our familyís bills and birthday party invitations from the mailbox with gloved hands. My kids and I worried like never before when my husband would board a plane to take a business trip and the sense of safety we feel at home in the suburbs of Bible belt of America is now supposedly dictated by colors like yellow and orange. As a girl who spent most of my growing-up years thinking ìwarî was a foreign conceptóit either happened across the globe or in the pages of history--I am suddenly a wife and mom dealing with ìwarî on a level far too close to home.
The terror attacks, the War on Terrorism and now the War for Iraqi Freedom have thrust us moms into the trenches of against some of the most difficult challenges we have ever faced. What could be harder than a mom having to tell her young child that her dad, grandparent, sibling, or other loved one died at the hands of evil in one of the World Trade Center towers? More overwhelming than trying to explain to a seven-year-old why someone would take over an airplane full of innocent people and crash it into a building on purpose? More exhausting than laboring at ìground zeroî on the front lines of the relief efforts in New York City? More unnerving than sending off to Iraq a son or daughter who serves in the military? Or more taxing than trying to maintain some kind of an emotional balance when each new headline or newscast triggers a new stream of tears about something sad, touching or terrifying?
These are battles no mom would ever choose to wage. But we canít let the world situation intimidate us into mothering by circumstance rather than by choice. We could easily let the tragedy and the war nudge us into depression, defeat, helplessness, or fearfulness. Yet the Lord tells us in Psalm 18:39 that he has given us strength for the battle. I believe He would much rather see us use these events as a call to arms; an incentive to mother more deliberately, and with more of a dependence on Him, than ever before. The recent world events give us an unprecedented opportunity to put feet on our faith, and to show others the reason for the hope that is in us (see 1 Peter 3:15)! Simple Strategies The terrorist attacks and the wars that have followed have caused me to rethink my mission on this earth, in my nation and in my home, as a mom. Here are some ways I believe God might be leading mothers to respond.
1. We can, by the grace of God, keep our fears in check. Our fears and insecurities not only illustrate a lack of faith to our kids and the world, but they also make our little ones feel scared and vulnerable. But how in the world is a woman supposed to keep from being frightened at the thought of anthrax? Of having her husbandís office building become another target for the terrorists? Of having her husband, her son, daughter, her friend being deployed to Iraq? First, by staying spiritually healthy through prayer and Bible study. Hereís one of many perfect verses to hide in our hearts during these terrifying times: ìAnd who is he that will harm you, if ye be followers of that which is good? But and if ye suffer for righteousnessí sake, happy are ye; and be not afraid of their terror, neither be troubled.î And second, we can ward off fear by staying mentally healthy by limiting our daily intake of news. Iím pretty sure that reading the morningís headline articles or watching the 10 oíclock news is a pretty healthy portion. But Iím very sure that watching every so-called expert detail his or her opinions on what ìmightî or ìcouldî happen, 24 hours a day, is the equivalent of eating candy bars all day long. Itís just not healthy! We should stay informed about whatís going on in our nation and the world, but be careful to measure out a daily ration of news and views that doesnít outsize our daily diet of Godís Word.
2. We can make our homes more of a refuge of peace, reflecting Godís love, than ever before. As moms, we set the tone of our homes. Our goal during these times--as during other, more ìnormalî timesóshould be to create an atmosphere thatís the direct opposite of the chaos pressing against our doors. Now more than ever, our families need the comfort of familiar routines, the peace of an organized home and schedule, and the joy of a fun family life. Iíve taken some concrete steps toward this goal. For starters, Iím getting up earlier each day so thereís time to get myself physically and spiritually dressed, take care of a few chores, and wake the kids with bright eyes rather than sleep-filled ones. Iím clearing out the clutter and tackling chores Iíve been putting off for way too long, and Iím trying to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman, who looks well to the ways of her household, by doing ìall things decently and in orderî (1 Corinthians 14:4).
3. We can take good care of ourselves. ìMy heart is smitten, and withered like grass, so that I forget to eat my bread,î (Psalms 102:4). My American Heritage Dictionary says ìsmittenî means ìto affect sharply with deep feeling.î Surely the world events of recent history have affected us so sharply that it would be easy to forget to eat. In fact, I donít think I did eat a thing that Tuesday, September 11, as I was watching planes explode into buildings, skyscrapers collapse, and news anchors cry on TV. I could hardly even tear myself away to pick up my kids from school that day. But if we donít take care of ourselves by eating right and exercising, then we wonít be much good to our familiesówhether weíre in a crisis or not.
4. We can be conscientious gatekeepers. Information is bombarding our kids from all sides. The news, friends, teachers, bumper stickers and billboards all offer a conglomeration of ideas, images and attitudes that itís difficult for even us grown-ups to sort through. We should explain events to our kids in terms they can understand and in the light of Godís Word.
5. We can refuse to yield to the hatred. Easy for me to say, I suppose, because I havenít lost a loved one in the New York City or Washington attacks, in the Pennsylvania plane crash, or in the war zones in Afghanistan and Iraq. I canít imagine a person or a group of people more deserving of hatred than Osama bin Laden, the Taliban regime, or Saddam Hussein. Yet God knows the dangers of humans engaging in hatred: Itís simply not our area. We need to rememberóand remind our kids--that love, not hatred, is Godís choice for us. We should love even our enemies, a concept impossible for a human mind to understand outside the radical realm of Godís all-powerful love, and enjoy the peace of knowing that justice is Godís hands, not ours: ìÖthe face of the Lord is against them that do evilî (1 Peter 3:12).
In His Care
While we choose our steps through the obstacles that lie ahead, may we draw closer than ever to the Lord God, who has a special place in His heart for moms: ìHeÖshall gently lead those that are with young,î (Isaiah 40:11b). Could it be that He has this special place in His heart for us because we have the potential like perhaps no other part of His creation to provide our families and others with an earthly reflectionóthrough our hearts and homes--of His peace, which passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7)?